I worried about this, on a daily basis, for years. I knew what the aliens looked like—their large eyes were entirely opaque, knowing everything and revealing nothing. Their heads were big and their mouths tiny.
I was terrified by this fear, but also really embarrassed of it. I recognized that it was wildly narcissistic to even consider the possibility of being the star of such a production, and I just knew that if I told anyone about it, they would laugh at me. And so I felt isolated by the worry, alone inside my head, unwilling to risk confessing my fears. To be a child, after all, is to live in a world populated by a powerful alien race called grown-ups. But at some point, it became too much to bear. One night, I sobbingly told my parents about my fear, about the possibility that they and everyone else might be aliens, and that I might be alone in the world.
They listened. They took me seriously.
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They reassured me. And the big-eyed little men never again came down through my light fixture. One of the problems with being a person is that you are constantly making important choices with extremely limited information. Or worst of all, both. At every human turn, inadequately informed choices must be made.
Scissors & Clippers
Should I marry this person? Should I go to medical school? Should I buy this house? We try to make the best choice based on our limited information and how we prioritize that information. In July of , my wife Sarah and I were about to purchase our first house—the question was, which house? House 1 was older, with mature trees on the property and a huge finished basement. House 2, built in the s, had newer bathrooms and an updated kitchen, but less overall square footage. They were identically priced. So we wrote lists of pros and cons. We wound our way to one conclusion before one of us would turn back.
It was simply an unchoosable choice. And so finally, Sarah had an idea: Rock paper scissors. I would be house 1. She would be house 2. Shop All Wrap Shop.
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